Air Travel Behavior That Drives Me Crazy!
Please Don't Engage in These Annoying Travel Behaviors
Like many of you, I have been on a plane a lot of times in the past. I never kept track of the number of times, but I estimate around six times a year for at least the last forty years. I am no road warrior, but I have been on a plane and in airports enough to understand what makes air travel better and what makes it worse. In this article I am going to explain the air travel behaviors that annoy me the most. You may already know most of these but please share because there are lot of people who do not, and if people would just not engage in these behaviors, air travel would be so much better for all of us.
The Roadblocker – Airports are busier than ever and the geniuses that designed many of our airports never planned for the massive increase in the number of people who would be traveling. As a result, corridors can be narrow and at some gates there are simply not enough seats for everyone traveling to sit down. Many people stand blocking the corridors as they wait for their flight to board. Even worse, many people stand in the middle of the corridor who are not waiting for a flight, but checking their phones, luggage, paperwork or just chatting with their travel partners. Simple rule – If you are in the center of the corridor, you should be walking and walking quickly. If not stand against the wall and get out of the way.
Five Bag Louie – All airlines have the same rules for the luggage you are allowed to carry onto the plane. You get one roller bag or similar suitcase, and one personal bag like a purse or briefcase. Nevertheless, you will still see people getting onto the plane with three, four and even five bags (yes, five bags and I can prove it because I have the picture). Not only do all these bags take up space, but all of these bags make it difficult for the bag carry passenger to maneuver down the aisle in the plane. You will see these people whacking other people in the shoulder and face as they make their way to the back of the plane. Remember, the second item is supposed to be small so a roller bag and a very large backpack, duffel bag or other large bag is not the idea. And for those ladies who say a beach tote is a purse, it is not. Simple rule – Two carry-ons. One roller bag and one other small item.
The Weightlifter - Carry-ons, including the famous roller bag, will appear in a number of my observations about bad air travel behavior. For this point however, I am talking about the five-foot grandma who brings on her roller bag that is loaded with gold bars. Okay, I really do not know what is in the bag, but the granny roller bags are very heavy, and of course granny cannot lift the heavy roller bag into the overhead bins. So, she struggles with her roller bag, typically whacking a few other passengers with it, while she attempts to get it into the overhead compartment. Usually, some nice tall gentleman steps up and helps her with it. Simple rule – if you cannot get your roller bag into the overhead bin by yourself, check the bag.
No Room Sally – If everyone on a plane brings a roller bag, not everyone will be able to find space for their roller bag. Those people who board early get first dibs on the overhead space and some of those people might be Five Bag Louies who are not only using up their space but are using up your space as well. So, if you have a roller bag (or any large bag that will not fit under the seat) and you will be in the later boarding groups, do not bring your roller bag onto the plane. So many times I have seen people board with their roller bags and go all the way to the back of the plane, only to find there is no space, and then they have to fight their way back up to the front of the plane to get a flight attendant to take care of their bag. Today most airlines will make a gate announcement that you can bring your roller bag to the gate agent, and the agent will check your bag for free. Then when you arrive at your destination you can pick up your roller bag as you exit the plane. Simple rule - Unless you are flying first, business, or premium, gate check your roller bag, so you are not fighting for overhead space.
Gate Hounds – All airlines have a system for boarding the plane. Some airlines board by group number, some board by row number and some airlines have some other system. Regardless of which system your airline uses, the idea is to have an orderly boarding process. That means you should stay away from the gate until your row or group has been called. However, typically as soon as boarding starts the gate is rushed by the gate hounds who then stand blocking the way for those who are trying to board. As a frequent flyer I often am one of the earlier persons to board. But instead of just walking up the gate I must weave my way through a forest of travelers who are standing in the way. Simple rule - Stay away from the gate until your row number or group number is called and do not block other travelers who are trying to get on the plane.
Musical Chairs – Depending upon the airline and the fare, with some classes of travel, you may not get to pick your seat in advance. As a result, when you do get your seat assignment at the check in counter or the gate, you may find yourself not sitting next to your travel companions. Then travelers adopt two behaviors. The first one is just to sit in someone else’s assigned seat. I have seen this dozens of times. The other behavior is that once people are seated, someone in the group tries to convince other travelers to change seats, resulting in an airline game of musical chairs and annoying other travelers. Simple rule – If you really must sit next to your traveling companion, pay for a fair that allows for assigned seats. Otherwise sit in the seat you are assigned. I am sure you can manage a few hours separation while you get to your destination.
The Undressers – I can remember taking my elderly mom right to the gate, and even helping her onto the plane. Those days are gone. Now only travelers can get to the gate and before getting to the gate, you must go through security. The security line is a breeding ground for dysfunctional behavior. We all know the general rules – no liquids, shoes off, jackets off, belts off, large jewelry items off and nothing in your pockets. Yet every time I go through security someone does not follow these basic rules and gets the “buzzer” going through the security machine, or alternatively does nothing until they get to the conveyor belt and then performs a strip tease getting all the items off their body and into the bins, all the while holding up other travelers. Simple rule – Before you even get into the security line take your belt, phone, wallet, jewelry, and anything in your pockets at put them in your purse or backpack. Then all you must do is to put your jacket, shoes, and bag into the bins, and you are done.
The Snapper – Getting out of an airplane seat can be tricky, particularly if you are old or overweight. When trying to get out of their seats I see passengers grab the back of the seat in front of them and pull themselves up by pulling the seat back. That is fine when the plane is in the gate and you are getting ready to depart, but in the middle of the flight when you get up to use the toilet, that action can be really annoying to the person in the seat in front of you, particularly if that person is sleeping. These passengers then often let the back of the seat go and the seat snaps back, hitting the passenger in the seat on the head. I have seen passengers who pull back the seat in front of them just to adjust their position on their own seat. Simple rule – Use the armrests and the back of your own seat to get out of your seat and leave the back of the seat in front of you alone.
I’m The Man – Boarding a plane is a much more efficient process if everyone is paying attention and following instructions. However, I constantly see people (more often men) on their cell phones busy making the “deal of the day.” I even saw one guy with his cell phone under his ear and an open laptop walking down the jet bridge while trying to juggle two carry-on bags. Of course, while this person is on his phone and/or laptop, he is not paying attention to what is going on, so he is blocking other people and holding up the boarding process. Often these guys talk very loudly. They just do not get that I and the other passengers are not interested in their deal to sell backhoes in Norway. I also wonder if they engage in the activity because they think it makes them look important. News flash – it doesn’t. Simple rule – Once the boarding process begins shut down your laptop, get off your phone, and put your electronic devices away.
Brats Incorporated - I love my own kids but when traveling other people’s kids can be extremely annoying. Bad kid behaviors include the kid who won’t sit in his/her seat so mom is walking up and down the aisle with the little brat. Then there is the young child with the high pitched scream and to make it worse, I have experienced parents who laugh at these annoying screams, which only encourages more annoying screams. Then there is the seat kicker who spends the entire flight kicking the back of your seat. One time two kids with their dad were fighting, hitting the seat backs, jumping up and down, and in general being very obnoxious. An elderly lady said she was ill and asked if the dad couldn’t calm them down. The dad told the lady she should go sit in the baggage compartment. Simple rule - If you can’t keep your kids under control give them Dramamine and they will sleep through the entire flight.
You may have other air travel behaviors that annoy you. Please let me know. I am happy to add them to this list.